Over the weekend I was sitting with a client for an oracle card reading and asked her what she'd like to focus on. "I want to say my love life, I've been really unhappy, but I should say my children."
"It sounds to me like you want a reading about your love life," I replied.
"Well, I do, but I feel guilty."
I sat quietly and then offered, "Why don't we do a reading focused on your romantic life, and then, if we have time, we can draw some cards for your kids."
She nodded. The cards that came up led us to a discussion about her desires. "I don't think I've ever known what I wanted, Lindsey," she said.
"You'd be surprised how many people say that to me."
"It's like my intuition died."
"Oh," I cocked my head to the side, "I think your intuition is alive and well, I just heard it a few minutes ago say it wanted a love reading."
She laughed. "Maybe you're right."
"So many of us go no-contact with our intuition," I explained. "It's like it's outside, beating loudly on the door, and instead of opening it, we wonder why we have a headache."
I have had a hundred conversations that have gone just like this. People, especially women, often have no idea what they want, or even need.
So, why does this happen?
The culture we live in is a culture of domination, based on myths that proclaim some people are more worthy of having their needs met than others. These myths even declare that some people don't even have the same needs as others, for instance, that women don't have the same need for autonomy over their bodies as men; that disabled people don't have the same need for accessibility as able people; or that Black people don't have the same need for care as white people.
People who are connected to themselves and others, who have a healthy sense of empathy and compassion, and who are rooted in their intuitions, are much harder to manipulate, coerce, and exploit. Naturally, a system that thrives on manipulation, coercion, and exploitation will systematically dismantle human connection—both from the self and from others.
For many of us, we had to disconnect from ourselves to survive in our families, schools, and neighborhoods. Being in touch with our intuition would have meant being painfully conscious of the abuse, neglect, and injustice all around us. It would have meant speaking out or behaving in ways that would have gotten us hurt or punished (for many of us, this happened anyway). As children, we had little power over our surroundings.
As adults, we bear the consequences of these severances from our intuitions. Many of us struggle to know what we want, or need. This is the root of our suffering, unmet needs. All suffering is caused by unmet needs.
Needs-based work is radical because when we pursue meeting our needs, we develop greater fulfilment and happiness in our own lives while also dismantling the systems of domination, punishment, exploitation, and scapegoating that cause mass suffering. Getting in touch with our needs, letting go of judgement, criticism, and blame, is not just a personal revolution; it is part of a collective one.
In Empowerment Sessions, my 1:1 coaching container, I show you how to identify your needs, create effective strategies to meet them, communicate your needs to others, and develop joyful, fulfilling romantic, platonic, familial, and professional relationships. My approach is unique because I use astrology to support this work, and my clients find the symbolic language of the stars wildly helpful as they journey toward a happier, more meaningful life.
If this journey sounds exciting to you, reach out by email to get started.
Your intuition isn't dead, it's just time to open the door.